Heimlich Manoeuvre

On a recent ‘boys trip’ to Istanbul I had to resort to school boy first aid and perform my first (and hopefully last) Heimlich Manoeuver. All excited about arriving at our hotel and discovering the most wonderful rooftop terrace over-looking the Blue Mosque the inevitable shout for beers went up. Slapping myself on the back (no pun intended given what was to come) for having found such a gem of hotel right bang smack in the Sultanahmet area of the city, we took in the splendid view and I soaked up the accolades from my fellow travellers. As I recall during the second round of drinks the barman amusingly asked if he could refresh our nuts, the nuts that were of course offered along with our drinks. I’d noticed before on a trip to Turkey, having nearly chipped a tooth, that their nut selection often includes pistachio nuts in the shell precariously mixed in with almonds, peanuts and cashews etc. Phil Legg, he of Futureproof Records fame and an old buddy of mine, grabbed a fistful and chomped merrily away on the selected nuts. Some minutes later, I looked over to Phil having not heard a peep from him during the recent conversation and noticed his eyes out on stalks and the colour draining from his face. The barking/hooting noise that accompanied his look of totally despair signalled that maybe all was not well. I’d seen this look before and jumped up, ordered him onto his feet and grabbed him from behind as if to give him a vigorous rogering but instead went through the motions of what I could remember of the Heimlich manoeuvre. Two to three monster contractions later and Phil spluttered back into life and was once again able to inhale. A great shock to us all which required another round of Tanqueray and Tonic!

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